i dont know what time it is

because i am in hawai'i.

yep.

i love me some vacation. no remodel. no work. no cell phone. (ok - a little).

just lots of rum. lots of lounging.

neener neener.

I have 9 fingers and show butt crack...

It is evident that I am unable to multi task. I cannot live a life where I do more than one thing at a time. Take remodeling your entire living space at one time for instance. It seems that if I am doing that, I am only do THAT. Nothing else. Not thinking. Not returning phone calls. Not brushing my teeth nor wearing deodorant. Not one thing can get in my way of doing my project.

So here I sit at my very dusty computer. In my very dirty office with unshaven legs and wrinkled clothes wondering how - dear God HOW?!- I can try and write a post when there is something I could be destroying drywall-wise in the front of my home. I have been holed up in this house for too long now. I am unclear on reality. All I know from the outside world is told to me by construction workers and delivery boys. They are my human contact. I feel like a caged animal. Just throw me some raw meat and a People magazine and I am good here in my hovel.

My husband can do it. He gets up every morning and goes to work and appears to be normal to the outside world. Me, on the other hand, I visited Starbucks yesterday for the first time in weeks and felt as if a veil had been lifted from my eyes and I saw the outside world once more for all it's glory. I even had someone drop change in my coffee mug before I could take my first sip. I guess it was the fact I was laying on the ground and had my underwear over my pants that tipped them off to being possibly homeless. Who knows.

Needless to say - I have always claimed that I was a hermit. That I did not want nor need outside connections. My God how wrong I was. Help. Me. I am thinking of collecting stray cats. I am losing my mind.

Word to the wise: Never remodel.

Jenna Elfman be one funny mo fo...

I love funnyordie.com. I would like to thank Will Ferrell and his freaky friends for creating this gem of a website.

Here is my current fave: Mama Jams

"Count it!" "Suck it up motherfucker!"

Important but forgot to mention...

The album "St. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" from my beloved Beatles came out on this day 40 years ago. Holy shit! That album is 40 years old!?

Last month, Morrissey celebrated his 49th birthday. PEOPLE MORRISSEY IS ALMOST 50!

dear. god.

Miss vegetables

A by product of the whole not having a kitchen thing has been the increased amount of visits to fast food establishments. I have issue with eating a whole meal that was presented to you in a paper bag. Much like I cannot stand soda. EXCEPT for what it is was meant for - alcohol mixer.

We have no kitchen and no free time to shop. I used to shop ever couple of days for a meal I would make at home. I LOVE to cook and I am a firm believer of filling half of your plate with veggies. Thankfully - this is food I really, really enjoy so it's not really hard to eat healthy. This is not to say I don't eat fast food or junk food. It's OK and gets the job done when you are hung over. But every day for a week and a half!? Hell no.

Christ. I feel the effects of two weeks of nightly whoppers on my body. Thankfully - no signs of ass enlargement or anything like that. But DAMN am I tired! My sever lack of nutrition the past week or so has made me a mental blob.

I hate it. I haven't even been able to blog. I can barely type. The mush I have been eating has made me head mush. That's the truth. It's horrible.

NO MORE - I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo over fast food. Not that I was ever under it so to speak. But I miss broccoli. I miss it so much - so today I plan to head to T.J.'s and plop myself down in the produce isle and make sweet love to some red peppers and maybe some spinach. Oh, spinach, I miss you. We never talk anymore. You should come over tonight, bring a bottle of wine and we can cuddle.

See? I am delirious....