Wahoo Xmas

December 2007 Harrahs San Diego
Originally uploaded by Anna Land

THIS is why you live in Southern California - the beach on Christmas.

There are those who ask What Would Jesus Do? Well he woulda gone to the fucking beach like me if he could. Sheesh.

Happy Birthday Jesus

Happy Christmas Folks. This is for Allison, whose ultra religious in-laws firmly pointed out last year that they had a new tradition for Christmas. A birthday cake. For Jesus. Complete with them singing Happy Birthday to You.

Yes. Her Christmas is awesome.

If I had a dick...

I would tell the strange holiday solicitors who keep knocking on my door to suck it. It would be awkward since many of them are sweet old ladies for neighboring churches. But even sweet old bible thumping Grannies need a harsh talkin' to once in a while. 'Specially when dem bitches keep interrupting my holiday drinking. Vodka is MY church. Sheesh.

So effing true.

Saw this on Dooce. Can't help but post it here as well. I can relate SOOOO well.

Once, I was on a business trip to Chicago and my wonder-husband was at home where he caught a cold. I returned to my hotel room after a long day only to check my room voicemails. Hubby had left a stammering, jumbled melodramatic message that included him trailing off by then end leaving me to wonder if he he had passed out from the sheer exertion of dialing me. I didn't know whether to hang up and dial 911 or jump on a plane to return home instantly.

In a panic, fearing that I would have to live a life without him, I called him back. Scared out of my mind.

He answered cheerily, "Hello?"

Me "Honey, OMG, are you ok? Whats going on?"

Him "Ah, I have a sore throat and I couldn't find the cough syrup. I HAD to go out and get some more. I even had to take a nap!"

Me "Are you ok now? Do you need me to come home?"

Him "Huh? Aren't you in Chicago? I think I slept it off."

Me 'Click'

Him "Hello? Anna?"

Yeah - big fat BABY!