Helping the man get street cred

Breeezed through Perez this morning after spending ALLLLLL night on the phone with United Airlines because supposedly they are in some way meant to help me because we just lost $1000 bucks when Aloha Airlines decided to close its doors today. Yes, you read that shit on news and think bummer for THOSE folks. Welp. Now I am THOOOOOOOSE folks. Don't worry, going to Hawaii in a week and a half either way. No boo hooing over here.

Anywho -getting that all straightened out when I read on Perez that today marks the 13th anniversary of Selena's terrible untimely death. The King and I love us some Selena. Don't ask me why. My white boy husband luvs him some latino pop. Mana, Selena, and some others that I am not as into as him. Whatever.

Today I send him this link to my fave Selena song. It's an oldie but a goodie, and yes, like Perez I know all the words. Please, just humor me. This was an epic song for her. Watch, at the worst, it will make you crave a taco.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoJkv6Rv6Xo

I tell him to play it for the guys in his office mail room and remind them of this sad anniversary.

They almost carried him out on their shoulders shouting his name. He is their new white man hero. He is totally getting his mail delivered FIRST from now on. Maybe even an extra home made tortilla here and there. He so owes me big.

Today just got soooo much better...

... because I just discovered rickrolling.

How can you not love this oldie but goodie? One redhead. One deep voice. Several geeky outfits. One perfect video.

This song is a running joke in Annaland. We spend many of our evenings playing music and chatting. When we can't agree on what to listen to, we always put this song on to once again establish neutrality and laugh at ourselves. But we blast it. Which forces me to dance like a maniac with flailing arms and fuzzy hair. It is a sight to behold.

Love knows no borders.

This is heartwarming. I think being with child has softened my heart. I hope against hope I have a daughter now. If this baby comes out with a vag, I am totally gonna enlist because THIS my friends, is what it is all about.


Army Holds Annual 'Bring Your Daughter To War' Day

Get in my belly!

When I actually started telling people I was pregnant everyone had something to say. Beyond the initial shock and fear for my unborn child that most folks who know me have, most of them tried to warn me about the heart burn.

This hurt my feelings. I feel like it meant they never really knew me. Because MY GAWD. I get heart burn ALLLLLL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!!!!!!!! Years prior to being knocked up by this strange man known as my husband, I have suffered heart burn like no one I know. THINKING about heart burn give me heart burn. Water does too. BADLY. So when folks tried to warn me about getting it now that I have a parasite in my gullet (and it is not tape worm by the way- I made the OBGYN double check just to make sure) I was, like I said hurt.

So now here I sit. Full of acid because my body hated the fact that I wanted Grape Nuts. Fuck you body. I am one of the few who LIKE Grape Nuts, I have fought you over this for YEARS, can't you give a sister a break for once now that I am performing the miracle of life? What? No? Then fuck off body. I guess we are going back to counseling.

Pregnancy status check: still want a vodka tonic. I think when I register for my baby shower I will put Grey Goose on it. Yes, yes, this is a very good idea.

I am too devoted. I will even pay to see this....

At the top of my list for movie faves is Lost Boys. Hands down. Hands down my pants. Whatever. I love that movie so much it makes me violent. I hit because I love. Really.

Anyway, I have heard for sometime now that they REALLY were making a sequel to this stellarest of stellar movies and I would not hear any of it. How can you make a sequel after all this time that would remotely do the first movie justice? You can't. With no Keifer? No Jason Patrick? No attack of Eddie Munster??! No Thorn? No Grandpa? Dear God and baby Jesus.

But I am too devoted. I am almost brainwashed that I will go see it. Not because I WANT to, but because I HAVE to. I have to because I am THAT loyal. I know it will suck. I know I will be disappointed, but when I see the trailer and they have used all the old songs and hell, practically the same story line to sell the movie, I am almost forced to against my will. This sequel will not be good, but I am sucked in like I am in a tractor beam.

Damn you Warner Brothers. You are stealing candy from a baby.

BASTARDS.



And another thing. HOW!? I ask. HOW - do you make a sequel without Tim Cappello gyrating and playing the sax? I don't think it can be done. This movie is doomed.

After today, I miss this.

London Nov 2007 164
Originally uploaded by Anna Land

My friend Jon will kill me for saying this as he really can't stand London nor the Tube, but I miss the mass transit in the UK. I think it's even better than NYC. Those who have this luxury may hate it, the delays, the over crowding, the smelly passengers. But those who complain have never had to drive in bumper to bumper traffic INTO the sun for 2 hours straight. The problem with driving is that you really can't ever 'relax'. There is no taking a magazine out to read or tuning into your IPod and closing your eyes and sitting as someone else does the driving.

You have no idea what it is like to stop-go, stop-stop-stop-go a little bit- then stop-stop-stop. All the while you are paying $4 bucks a gallon to burn gas while sitting still and going now where.

Yes, today I had to drive in the commute - and now I must find a few innocent people to "knock off" to ease my frustration. Stupid old lady in front of me. I could have gotten out and PUSHED her car faster than she was going.

She is an old lady whore. I know it.

Oh, and if you own an SUV, please know I hate you. Take it personally, because it is PERSONAL. They are too big and too damn annoying and what you fail to realize is having a bigger car does not make you a better driver. No. It AMPLIFIES your shittiness. And DON'T give me you need the cargo space bullshit. You DON'T, you WANT it because you seem to think it is necessary. That is not the same thing. You could get by with a smaller car. No one would die, you are just spoiled. What you don't realize is that you are an idiot for driving on the road with that huge auto monster that clogs the traffic with their view blocking fat asses. It's like owning a SUV has burned idiocy into your DNA - you are doomed. You may as well just die now. There is no point to going on if you are that lame.

Love,

Anna.

My good man

I have never had more pride and respect for my husband than I do now.

Let me tell you why. King of Annaland was not an animal lover when we were dating. Wasn't one when we got married either. Certainly wasn't one when I called him crying because I was on my way to the animal shelter to rescue a dog that was to be put down the next day. He wasn't one when I brought that dog home to live with us either.

He wasn't one for a long, long, long, long while. But he is now. Though he won't admit it. He and my dog Lulu, who once lived on death row are now inseparable. He makes sure to give her cuddles at night. She follows him around the house. He pets her the entire time he sits in his chair and watches tv. He likes playing tricks on her because he knows her nature now and understand her predictability. He loves her. He loves her personality. She has become, not an animal, but a fuzzy part of the family to him.

As a result of this new found love for a four legged creature, he has been able to step back and see, that if this dog that he loves so much has a personality that he cares for, it is possible that other animals may too. He can now translate his understanding of Lulu as a creature with feelings to other animals. As a result, after watching on the news last month about the mistreatment of cows heading to slaughter in a Chino, CA meat plant, he can translate the suffering of these animals into something he understands. What if someone did that to his beloved animal? How would he deal? It haunted him. He, for the time, realized how "not right" it was that these animals died. He was used to hamburger, that didn't look like an animal. It looked different. The cameras in that meat facility caught humans doing terrible things to animals and he realized he was eating the resulting product of it. He wondered aloud to me, "How many times do you think when I ate a cheeseburger, the cow that filled it was abused?" He realized that if more people had to actually kill the animal the were consuming on a regular basis, there would be one hell of a lot less meat eaters in the world.

He gave up meat that very night. Hasn't had it since. I know him well enough to know, I doubt he ever will again. I think that is awesome. I haven't had beef in a long, time and prefer fish to any other animal anyway. Fish to me, usually don't suffer at the hands of man in quite the same way. I am not here to get up on a soap box or propose that you should do as the King has done (thought I hope you will think about it) . I am just saying, I watched my husband evolve. And I am proud of him.

Pant ratings

The King works with a funny chap I shall call Jan-Michael Vincent. Trust me, he should be called Jan-Michael Vincent. From Airwolf. Yes. Anywho, Jan Michael is one funny mo' fo' in a very dry humor way. Have you ever seen Say Anything? Jon Cusack plays a mean Jan-Michael Vincent in that movie. They are the same person. Anywho AGAIN.

He sends my husband an email with a link to view THESE pants:


They discuss the pants for a bit and Jan Michael INSISTS that the King should buy a pair for his works outs. Something like when you buy new sneakers, you can run faster. And if the King bought these wonderful pants, his gym work outs would be tougher, meaner and more effective.

That and Jan Michael gave them an aggressive rating of 8 on a scale of 10. I think I have to disagree. If these pants show up ANYWHERE on the 10 point aggressive rating scale it is MOST definitely an 11. They are fierceness incarnate.

Yes, they go to 11.

We are easily entertained here in Annaland

Last night as I sat crippled on the couch with back pain and growing boobies, the King and I watched the 20/20 special on the British Royal Family. He was willing to humour me in my gimpy condition as he knows I am a whacked out anglophile, so he wanted to make me happy.

The only problem was that it was a two hour show, which, for us, meant three hours thanks to our lame sense of humor. We had to keep rewinding the show (thank you dvr) and catching up because of Jon Stewart. Why Jon Stewart? Simple. Last year when the Queen made her state visit to the White House, Mr. Stewart did a little bit about her while she was here with Georgie. And it made me cry I laughed sooo hard. He did this Mrs. Doubtfire impression of her that we kept doing every time she came on the screen. It was too much fun and we kept missing what they were saying on the show last night and had to back up - only to want to do the impression again. A viciously funny circle.

And because I just posted how devilishly fun it was to mock Her Royal Highness, I am sure she is calling Gordon Brown right now to dispatch Scotland yard to my house and "silence" me. And when they come to the door, I think I shall answer.... "HELLOOOOOO!"